Fear of Failure? Science Says the Result Doesn’t Matter

Fear of Failure: Why the Pursuit, Not the Finish Line, Matters Most

Fear of failure... it keeps you awake but also kills your dreams. From the classroom to the boardroom, it holds so many talented, capable people back. But what if success—however you define it—isn’t actually the thing that makes us happy? What if it’s the pursuit that counts?

I first considered this when I heard Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar on Mel Robbins’ podcast say: "It's not the attainment of a goal that causes long-term happiness, but the pursuit."

And it hit home—hard.

The Science Behind the Pursuit of Happiness

Last year, I spent six months training for the Gold Coast Marathon. And I mean properly training. I woke up at 4 a.m. to run before school sport drops, plodded along in the heat and the rain, structured my (limited) social plans around weekend long runs, and didn’t touch a drop of alcohol. I showed up every single week chasing that goal.

Eleven days before race day, I was fit, healthy, and excited. Ten days before? I got COVID. And just like that, my marathon dream was over.

At first, I felt the gut punch of disappointment. But to my surprise, it didn’t hurt quite as much as I thought it would. Sure, I didn’t get the finisher’s medal I was dreaming of—but I still felt a massive sense of achievement. The incremental progress each week, the pride in my discipline, and the rewards of commitment. The way that goal shaped my year.

That’s exactly what Dr. Tal’s research confirms: The happiness we seek isn’t in the temporary high of achieving something but in the consistent challenge, growth, and momentum we build along the way. The goal time would have been nice, but it wouldn’t have permanently shifted my happiness anywhere near as much as the six months of training.

Psychologists call this concept the Progress Principle—the idea that small wins and forward momentum create more engagement and satisfaction than the end result itself. Research by Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, published in the Harvard Business Review, found that individuals experience the most motivation and happiness when they make progress in meaningful work, not when they hit a final milestone.

 “Hedonic Adaptation” is the psychological tendency to return to a baseline level of happiness after achieving something big. Whether it’s getting promoted, buying a dream home, or running a marathon, the initial excitement fades, and we adjust back toa base level, so that the exciting thing is not so exciting anymore. That’s why focusing on the journey—the growth, the resilience, and the daily wins—brings more lasting fulfillment.

Don’t Focus on the Goal

This may sound counterintuitive. We are told to set goals – to write them down. To make them “specific” and “actionable.”

But these days, many high-performance experts are cautioning against setting rigid goals because they can create unintended negative consequences, such as burnout, anxiety, and unethical shortcuts to achieve them at any cost. Instead of creating transferable skills and long-lasting ‘best practices,’ we develop a ‘finish line’ mentality where we chase an arbitrary target at all costs, endure undue stress, only to revert to the status quo. (Ask anyone who did a 6-week shred how it worked out for them.)

Instead, we should focus on systems, habits, and flexible strategies that encourage continuous improvement rather than an all-or-nothing mindset. This means the systems and habits you implement to pursue the goal are actually more important than the goal itself.

What to Do Instead

• Focus on Systems Over Goals – James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) says that systems (daily habits and routines) are more effective than setting arbitrary goals. Instead of saying, “I want to write a book,” focus on writing 500 words a day.

• Set Flexible Targets – Goals should be adaptable based on new information, feedback, and personal growth. Just as an athlete would adjust expectations based on weather conditions, we need to adapt to the circumstances available to us.

• Measure Progress in a Healthy Way– Instead of obsessing over a single metric, track small wins that indicate forward movement (I didn’t land that contract, but made some great connections and expanded my professional network).

• Prioritize Learning & Growth – As Mark Manson argues, every pursuit should be viewed as a skill-building exercise, regardless of the final outcome. If your e-commerce side hustle doesn’t allow you to retire early, you likely learned invaluable skills in web development, copywriting, budgeting, trademarking, logistics, etc.

The Real Win? Starting

So, if fear is keeping you from starting, let this be your sign: It’s not about the finish line. It’s about who you become in the process.

The real win starts happening the day you take that first step. What’s one thing you’ve hesitated to start because of fear? Drop a comment or hit reply—I’d love to hear your story.