Our 6 Tips For Returning From Maternity Leave
If you’ve talked to other mums who have gone through maternity leave, you know that it’s no holiday – and returning to work at the end can be one of the hardest parts. The readjustment can be challenging, and we often lack the support we need in order to push through, making it even more daunting and overwhelming. With the right preparation, (and treating yourself with kindness and encouragement) you can make the transition back to work smooth and simple. So here are our six biggest tips for returning after maternity leave.
1. Treat Yourself With Kindness
The number one rule throughout this whole process is: you deserve kindness. Especially from yourself. Imposter syndrome can hit hard after an extended break, and you might find yourself feeling guilty for not spending enough time with your child. Many mothers feel torn between the worlds of family and career. And you will probably cry. A lot.
These feelings are normal – expect them! But you will get through them. Remember that you are not only re-learning much of your job, you’re also learning how to be a mother to a child who is growing and changing constantly. That’s a lot of learning! So don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and remember to, above all, be kind. Use this as an example to show your children the courage to work through fear, have courage, and take a leap of faith. They will learn and respect you for how you navigate these opportunities for growth.
2. Consider All Your Options
There’s no one perfect way to return to work. You may have arranged to come back full time, then realised you need to be part time. You may be able to negotiate some work-from-home time, or lower your level of responsibility. You may want or need to extend your leave. You may even want to find a completely different job! It all depends on you and your unique situation, so be sure to brainstorm and discuss with your partner and workplace to find the options that will work for you.
3. Set Your Expectations
It can be easy to get really excited (or really scared) about heading back to the workplace, but it’s vital that you keep a level head about what the reality will be. Settling back in and finding new routines will take a few months at best – not just because you’ve been away for a while, but because you’re a different person now! Going through matrescence is a huge deal, and can completely change everything from how you view yourself to how you relate to others to even just your energy levels. Combine all that with the challenges of returning to work, and it’s clear why so many people struggle! It will be hard, it will be intense, but you’re strong: if you want this, you can get it.
4. Set Others’ Expectations
It’s an unfortunate reality that many of our colleagues won’t understand that parenthood comes with a wide range of challenges and unexpected interruptions, and working with parents means needing to be open and flexible. So many mothers (and fathers!) get nasty looks or rolled eyes when they need to pick up their kid early from daycare, or call out sick at the worst moment because the baby has an ear infection, and that’s not fair.
That’s why it’s so important to set the expectations of your coworkers and managers upfront, preferably even before you return to work. Make sure they understand and agree to work with you to find flexible solutions to sudden problems, as well as your clear boundaries around your new ways of working. You likely won’t be able to be on call 24/7 anymore, and they need to know that!
5. Reach for Equality
Parenting is (most often) a partnership. That means that both you and your partner need to share responsibilities once you return to work. If they’ve been working through your maternity leave time, this will take some adjustment. But sharing the mental load of daycare, appointments, cooking dinner, cleaning, bath time, and all the minutiae that comes with caring for a newborn is key to getting through this successfully without building resentment for your partner.
The easiest way to reach equality in your relationship is to sit down and hash it out. Sort out who will do what, which phone number to give to daycare and which to give to the doctor, who’s making dinner and who’s doing the dishes, make a clear and solid plan. Divide and conquer parenthood, together.
6. Take It Slow
We’ve mentioned this a few times, but it’s important to be clear: returning to work is a complex process that you can’t succeed at overnight. When planning your return with your workplace, we suggest under-estimating your commitments and energy levels and only ramping things upwards once you feel comfortable doing so. In a similar fashion, start things like daycare or nannying a few weeks before you go back to work, to give yourself the brain space to adjust and manage the adjustment period without having to worry about work. Take it slow, plan ahead, and give yourself time to experience things in stages.
So, new parents, don’t fall into the trap of measuring your self-worth by how many balls you can juggle. There’s no medal for doing it all yourself, and trying to will only lead to stress, anxiety, and worse. We hope these six tips will help you settle into the flow of being a working parent, and if you ever need more advice, head over to act2project.com to read more.
